secrets

secrets on this side   secrets on that side
secrets that no longer can be hidden
secrets that need to come out
secrets that i have NO one to tell to
"your the most trust worthy person know"
he said, but do you have clue how hard that is ?
how many times you get fucked over?
ive lost people due to secrets.
there not mine to tell,.
but why bother keeping them if yours are always come out ?
why gain trust if you never give ?
sincerely - selena Lynn mercado :*

Who the fuck really cares ?

Who gives a fuck about me ? No one , I could disappear off the face off this earth and no one would give a fuck. I'm about to drop all my old friends and stay with new ones . I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE . when tyler the creator says "i aint kill myself and i already want my life back ," i feel him. I miss the old days when i was marias little sister and thus daughter but the fuck can i say ? Shit changes , i miss the days where leo was an alcoholic without the anger now he's an over reacting bitch who don't mean shut to me anymore or atleast I try for it to be that way , conidering it went from my baby to and ungrateful bitch. I was never his baby the green bottle was always in the way. He says he does so much for us but in reality what has he really done ? Nothing but suck money out of wela pocket -.- wela says if it wasn't for him we would have a phone , but it was her that got it for us , just his name cause he fucked up her credit . I've been feeling this way ever science he broke my first iPod ,i ended up cutting myself that night just cause that bitch ass but does wela know ? Of course not , almost no body does, I know one gives a fuck but its d my blog so fuck it , fuck him , but mist of all FUCK MY LIFE ! Sincerely - selena Lynn mercado :*

I haven't been myself lately , I don't know how to describe it but I've been out of it. I have no clue why , I was happy while I was talking to b. It was the sweetness I guess , he said I went ghost but act like you don't have my number or like you don't go on fb ? I texted you just so you can't complain but you never texted back that's kinda fake, but I ain't mad ,Its all good. Forget him I have bus buddie. The kid I met over the summer he's kinda never on fb anymore but I'll see him. At acedemic bowl if I saw him more I could make Him mine ! But no he's always busy and I have overprotective parents D: but fuck it if it's ment to be it will be , rj is coming to the school he said so maybe that will work , as for the nigga who fucks with my feeling FUCK YOU i won't end up liking you again cause you don't like me ! Remember at that party you grabbed my hand and said I was your baby I felt happy that moment I felt like I ment something to you wich of course I didnt but fuck love fuck guys fuck cupid ! As for Maria your starting to annoy the crap out of me . I'm starting to realize I never meant ahit to you ,same for my "wife" these last weeks ice been seeing alot of people's fake side and I'm starting to go "bros over hoes" fuck bitches they ain't shit but hoes and tricks and I'm close to done . Where the fuck has my best friend been ? I hate his Internet :T I miss him and when I need him I have to talk to my paper mâché koala head ! No reply no advice no one making me smile . This fucking sucks ! D:

F.A.M.I.L.Y

Family

F is for the fucker that took away my mom , my biological father that don't mean shit to me , a Jealous violent "lunatic" he tried to say that he didn't take his meds and mother told him she was leaving, in rage he stabbed her to death right in front of me , my brother tried to stop him but he threw him against the wall , she was too good for him wela warned her , But she was too stubborn they say Im just like her exept my additude is worse .
A - is for the achohlic of a grandfather that I have . I'm your baby ? Shut the fuck up . The green bottle is your baby . Changing welas mind about shit I should be able to fo . The reason I can't go out and my best friend -_- you over react abou every fucking thing . The scar on my arm is cause when you broke my iPod -.- I'll have those scars for ever , I'll remember that night for ever acholic over proctected bitch .
M-is for maybe . All the curiousity. All the questions that I'm too young to know the answer to . For the question what if I did care would shit be better ? would I have more friends ? Would old man not hate me ? Would I be more like that two faced bitch ?
I- I is for ignorance . My family has alot of it. It's so Fucking annoying -.- like what the fuck is wrong with you ? How the fuck am I related to them ? I'm so different !
L - l is for lack of communication , something my family really needs to fix >.<
y- is for your not trusted ! I'm not trusted in this house none of the kids are my brother can't go to the park without wela thinking he's sparking -.-
Carlos can't have a Honda with out Leo thinking he's racing
I can't go anywhere with out meeting up with boys and talking to boys , I can't do shit and I Blame my brothers for it ,

Overall I feel like a polar bear among pandas , painting itself just to fit in

For my shining star :*

Twinkle twinkle little star 
Two years of being your faithful aunt 
With every kiss upon your cheek ,
My love for you grows 
And with every ounce of saliva that falls on me I'm happy to say your my niece .  
I remember the first steps you took , and how every day I would take your hands and encourage you to walk . 
Remeber when you said titi for the first time . 
I was flukey , like a kid on christmas , opening up the biggest box with the smallest puppy in it , 
You bring me the warmest feeling , like a thick blanket , 
You make me smile close to tears just by saying Titi , 
I miss you more than anything , you are my little shining star ,
I have faith in you ,
I don't see you much but I'm gonna be there for you as you grow up , I wouldn't trade you for anything in the word because your much more than anything to me , 
I love you 8.27.09

Hospin kid 8-18-11

 This is for hospin kid . Well on the 18th of august He became my best friend . The only person I could turn to . Besides his dog . Oh best friend the way you can make me crack up . like no one else . We haven't even been best friends for a week and I feel like You understand me better then anyone else . You really haven't done nothing to piss me off yet and thats a good sign . I haven't got to see you yet but I don't care your gonna be my best  friend and I'll make sure of that :p cause if I ever lose you I'm going to cry alot  . I've told you more than I tell family . I still owe you that kiss on the cheek and I won't forget .  Or aleast I'll try not to . :* ( ^_^ ) . Don't worry I didn't forget your ass grab either . I own your ass and you own my and if if I see another chicks eyes on it then she's not very lucky <3 ;p jk I'm not that mean :T either way at the end of the day your my best friend and I'm yours . I love you hospin kid <3 :) 

Far away

Your smile that used to match mine is gone . 
The hand that mine fit in Is gone 
The gentle finger that would wipe away tears 
The beat of your heart . I remember how fast that could put me to bed .  
All of that taken away in less then a minute 

They say the sky's the limit but what if you want to go past that ?
Past the fartherst star . All the way to heaven . So I can see those lips with bright red lipstick and you wearing a bunch of gold .

I probaly would be so different . Poetry wouldn't be apart of my life . I wouldn't be home . I'd be chilling with friends . Not the ones I have now . Different ones . I would have an iPod I would have a phone

Over all mommy I miss you and your far away .